i can't believe i had my finger in that
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
