Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
