drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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