Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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