Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
