just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You may now shotgun with the bride
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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