Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
