Dude my mom stole all your condoms
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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