Apparently you make a good broom.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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