Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
