is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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