He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
