chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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