Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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