haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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