Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
