yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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