I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
