6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
