Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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