I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
you never un-have a 4some
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
