So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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