it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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