Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
