Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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