i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize