he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
