i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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