I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
