oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
