I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
