benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Randomize
