Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
