i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
