Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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