It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You dont lie about slip and slides
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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