Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
