high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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