Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
