Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All the doctor said was why
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
