dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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