the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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