Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
