I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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