that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
