I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
