Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
