Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
