I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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