Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
